The amount of turmoil surrounding my friends* lately has really made me question the nature of relationships. Not the relationships you have with your children, I’m talking about every other type though – connections with friends, spouses and lovers. Being a commitment phobic, semi recluse, obviously I’m a bit clueless so – I’m asking you – when is a relationship real?
I’ve seen love – the type you ostensibly marry for (if you’re allowed to) disappear in the blink of an eye to be replaced, not by hate, its close cousin, but by indifference even repulsion. I’ve seen friendships morph into an awkward type of unrequited love, a comfortable arrangement turn into a “what was I thinking?” quick walk away and casual friendships turn into lasting bonds. I am, perplexed. For anyone with answers I would like to ask you – when did you know your relationship with (friend, lover or enemy) was real? When did you know that it wasn’t?
I understand that respect, camaraderie shared experiences and shared beliefs can all play a part – but we have these things in common with total or near total strangers, what I’m asking is – when – what – where and how does a connection become real? When is it a relationship worth sustaining no matter what? Is there such a thing?
I guess this new (to me) online connection medium (internet) has made relationships of any distance possible, but are these real? Are they different from the ones you have in 3D? How are they different? The same? Better? Harder?
I’m a bit gun shy I suppose about forming new relationships with friends in any medium – online or 3D, but mostly 3D. Sure I will go through the motions – maybe (usually never) say I love you out loud (out loud is the key), plan my life with you in it (rarely), but I am forever waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to realize – meh, not much here – moving on. I never truly trust that the connections are here to stay. For whatever the relationship – unless we are tied by that “bond” of genetic similarity, I’m rarely ever sure if a relationship is real.
So I ask, with sincerity, when is a relationship real to you? What makes it real and how do you know?
*oddly enough, I’m not talking about you. I need 3 hands to count the number of 3D/other friends suffering from relationship troubles right now. Also this isn’t about our relationship. You and I? We are solid. xo 🙂